


Healing

by drwhorose



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Friendship/Love, Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Sexual Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-15
Updated: 2013-03-15
Packaged: 2017-12-05 10:24:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/721992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drwhorose/pseuds/drwhorose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While Thomas is on bed rest, Jimmy struggles with the possibility of having feelings beyond friendship for Thomas. Alfred gets drunk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Healing

Daisy readied the breakfast tray in the kitchen, placing toast on a dish and a bowl of beans next to it. Ivy brought the hot water for tea.

"For Mr. Barrow," Daisy motioned to Jimmy and Alfred, nearly snapping her fingers at them.

Jimmy walked over to her and took the tray in his hands. “Thank you, Daisy.”

"I can take it!" Alfred ran quickly to the tray, and tried to pry it from Jimmy's strong hands.

"Alfred, what are you bloody doing?" Jimmy held firm. "The tray's already in me hands."

Alfred frowned. "But you always get to deliver trays. I insist."

"I've got it!" Jimmy grew impatient.

Mr. Carson cleared his throat. "Enough of this tomfoolery, Alfred, Jimmy. As much as I'm certain that Mr. Barrow would enjoy knowing that two strapping young men are fighting over the delivery of his tray, the job only requires one man."

"And I am glad to do it, Mr. Carson," Jimmy took the tray from Alfred's hands and headed up to the men's quarters. I am the reason he is on bed rest, not Alfred, Jimmy thought, remembering how Thomas had bravely stepped into the fight to protect him at the fair.

“I don’t understand,” Mr. Carson mumbled to Mrs. Hughes. “One minute, they want him fired without a reference or sent off to prison, the next they’re fighting over delivery of his breakfast tray.” He shook his head in disbelief and annoyance.

“Boys will be boys,” Mrs. Hughes responded with a careful smile, to which Mr. Carson rolled his eyes.

Jimmy knocked and called, "Mr. Barrow?" upon arriving to the small bedroom. He opened the door and noted that Thomas had not stirred from his slumber. Jimmy entered the room and watched Thomas as he continued to sleep, his chest rising and falling gently. With his eyes closed, Thomas looked peaceful, unable to glare at anyone in his sleep. Jimmy wondered if Thomas had stood a long moment and had gazed upon him intimately the night he had kissed him. He shook the thought from his mind as he put down the tray, and placed a hand on Thomas's shoulder to shake him gently awake. 

"Mr. Barrow? Thomas." Jimmy spoke softly yet with force enough to wake him.

Upon hearing his Christian name, Thomas opened his eyes. Jimmy removed his hand quickly from Thomas's shoulder in reaction. 

"Morning, Jimmy." Thomas greeted after clearing the morning hoarseness from his throat. 

"Time for breakfast," Jimmy brought the tray and table closer to Thomas’s reach.

"Thank you," Thomas removed the lid and took in a deep breath, taking in the comforting smell of beans and toast.

In the sunlight, Jimmy could clearly see the bruises all over Thomas's face. They were beginning to heal, but he still had an awful gash under his lower lip that needed more time to seal and close. Jimmy regretted ever saying Thomas was too delicate for anything. He took a punch as well as any man. Thomas smiled shyly at his stare.

"I best get back to work." Jimmy flustered easily, realizing he had been studying the purple and bluish marks on the under butler's face.

"Wouldn't want to be a bad influence," Thomas teased, as he sat up in bed slowly and carefully. 

Jimmy went into the corridor where he found Alfred waiting for him impatiently. 

"What took you so long?" Alfred gave a cautious look.

"I had to wake him." Jimmy offered simply.

"And how did you manage that? Did you have to take his cock out?" Alfred joked.

Jimmy glared in response. "Language, Alfred! Suppose Ivy or Daisy heard you."

"We're in the men's quarters, Jimmy. I didn't see the harm. Sorry." Alfred blushed.

"Just think before ya speak, will ya?" Jimmy walked away.

Later that afternoon, Jimmy changed into a more comfortable set of clothes. Mr. Carson gave Alfred and Jimmy the afternoon off, since they finished every job possible for the day working quickly as a team. The Crawleys were trying to keep busy as well in their time of grief, and there were few of them at home today.

"I'm going down to the pub," Alfred suggested to Jimmy. "You going?"

"I think I should stay away from alcohol for the time being. Tends to get me into trouble," Jimmy replied. "Thanks all the same, Alfred."

"Suit yourself." Alfred shrugged his shoulders as he went out the back door.

Jimmy walked to his room and tidied a bit, moving around the few of his possessions. He paced back and forth, trying to shake off a recurrent dream that seemed to haunt him during the day as well as during his slumber. It was a dream that involved Thomas kneeling over Jimmy to keep him warm from the cold of winter, while placing warm gentle kisses on his forehead, cheeks, and lips. Jimmy would wake up nearly glowing from the dream each time he had it, but as he woke up to reality he felt a burning dread in his stomach. But tidying was of no help. He had to talk to someone.

Jimmy found himself knocking on Thomas's door.

"Yes?" Thomas called out, quite lonely for any visitor. Bed rest was a quiet time for Thomas, and although he had few friends, he still enjoyed conversing with the others downstairs, even if he tended to insult them. 

"Mr. Barrow? I've come to check on the invalid." Jimmy entered the room with a smile, quite pleased with his smooth entrance, despite the fact that he was quaking inside, the dream still on his mind.

Thomas grinned widely. "What a pleasant surprise."

Jimmy pulled up a chair as he usually did on his visits with Thomas. "I brought you a new book. Bates said you might enjoy it."

Thomas raised an eyebrow at the mention of Bates. "Did he then?"

Jimmy nodded earnestly, leaning forward to hand over the book.

Thomas reached to take the book, wincing slightly, hoping Jimmy would not notice. 

"You must thank him for me." Thomas flipped the pages and then placed the book beside him in bed.

Jimmy smiled in response, “I will.”

"Wait a moment, young man. Are you out of uniform?" Thomas looked at Jimmy's plain clothes.

"I have the afternoon off." Jimmy confessed.

"But you must have somewhere to go! The cinema? Pub?"

Jimmy shook his head. "Rather not."

Thomas smiled. "Well then. I best find a way to be more entertaining than either place." 

Jimmy chuckled. "I think you can manage."

"Well, of course, especially in this state." Thomas chuckled. "How about a reading from the new book?"

Jimmy nodded. "I'd like that very much." He sat attentively as Thomas read aloud effortlessly. He wasn’t able to talk about the dream yet but listening to the mystery took his mind off his worrying.

Later that evening, Alfred stumbled into the servants' hall after dinner had been long served and eaten. 

"Last one up then, Jimmy?" Alfred slurred as he attempted to pull up a chair next to him.

Jimmy studied Alfred's drunken state carefully. "Had enough to drink then, Alfred?"

"Nearly." Alfred belched. "What did you get up to?"

Jimmy paused. "Sat with Mr. Barrow."

"Mr. Barrow, then?” Alfred blushed briefly. “Mr. Barrow…You know, Jimmy, I've always been wondering...what was it like being kissed by Mr. Barrow...being kissed by a man?"

"How would I know? I were only asleep when he did it?!" Jimmy felt a wave of panic come over him. Paranoia set in as Jimmy wondered if he spoke in his sleep and somehow Alfred could hear his dreams from down the corridor.

"What did it feel like though? Was his face all rough and prickly?" Alfred pressed on.

He tasted of cigarettes and smelled like cotton and cologne, Jimmy thought. "Alfred, come off it."

"Or was it nice?” Alfred paused, frightened at the thought. “It seemed to me at first that you were enjoying it, until you pushed him off ya, o'course." 

"Alfred! No one but bloody Snow White enjoys being kissed while asleep." Jimmy felt his palms sweating.

Alfred began to chuckle uncontrollably. "I’m going to bed."

Jimmy watched Alfred stumble off, his gait unsteady.

In the men’s quarters, Alfred walked into a dark room, only to find a sleeping figure in what he thought was his own bed.

"Wrong room?!" Alfred shouted, feeling more confused than ever.

"Alfred? Is that you?" A startled Thomas smelled the alcohol coming off him like a fume.

"Mr. Barroooow." Alfred slurred. "Thomas. I can call you that? We’re sort of mates, I suppose, well at least we work together. Um, Thomas, why did you kiss Jimmy?"

Thomas sat up in bed, his eyes widened yet he tried to remain calm. "Alfred, go to your room, then. Sleep it off."

Alfred stepped closer and closer to Thomas. "I wanted to know what it was like."

Before Thomas could stop him, Alfred had his wet lips pressed against his own injured ones. Alfred licked at Thomas's lower lip and then planted another kiss on his upper lip. 

"Alfred!" Jimmy shouted, pulling the drunken footman off Thomas. "What in the bloody hell?"

Jimmy walked a staggering Alfred to his own room and put him in bed.

"Everyone thinks you're so pretty, Jimmy. When will I be the pretty one?" Alfred seemed to be laughing and crying simultaneously, as Jimmy covered him with a blanket.

After closing Alfred’s door, Jimmy hurried back to Thomas's room. "How are you?"

Thomas shrugged. "Suppose I deserved that."

"A kiss from Alfred?! I don't know about that." Jimmy attempted to ease the tension.

"The kiss startled me, and I was at least awake." Thomas had realized on another level what a mistake he had made with Jimmy that night. "I'm still so very sorry."

"Please, Mr. Barrow, don't," Jimmy noticed a trickle of blood from Thomas's lower lip. "Oh, you're bleeding."

"I must have a handkerchief somewhere." Thomas attempted to reach the nightstand but he let out a gasp of pain. "Oh, sod it."

Jimmy quickly pulled out a kerchief from his own trouser pocket. "Here." Without thinking he pressed the handkerchief to Thomas's lower lip, applying pressure to stop the bleed.

Thomas looked at Jimmy, wonder in his eyes, his breath hitched in surprise. Thomas reached for the handkerchief at the same moment that Jimmy had let go of it shyly. 

"You can keep it." Jimmy offered. "Mr. Carson announced that tomorrow is your last day on bed rest.” He looked down. “That will be nice."

Thomas nodded. "Thank you, Jimmy, it will be."

Thomas watched as Jimmy exited his room. He put the handkerchief to his face and took in a breath. It smelled of summer and copper.

The next morning, Jimmy took up the final breakfast tray to Thomas, this time with no argument from Alfred. "Do you think he remembers that I kissed him?" Alfred had moaned when Jimmy woke him up earlier that morning. "I think I might have licked him." Alfred made a face, clearly regretting his drunken escapade.

Jimmy had assured, "I am certain it is something Thomas wants to forget as well."

“You think so?” Alfred smiled hazily, quite relieved.

Jimmy smiled to himself, thinking back on his conversation with Alfred, before knocking on Thomas’s door. Instead of waiting for a response, he opened the door expecting to find a slumbering under butler. Much to Jimmy's surprise, Thomas was very much awake, standing in only his trousers as he washed up by the basin.

"Oh, um, well, er, breakfast." Jimmy sputtered.

Thomas dried himself with a towel. "Thank you, Jimmy. Reckon I should get back to the early morning routine since I'll be back at it tomorrow." 

Jimmy studied the bruises that were scattered around Thomas's chest and stomach. They were in various stages of healing, almost beautiful designs of purple, yellow, and blue on pale skin. 

Thomas caught Jimmy's eye. "I'll get me shirt on."

"No, you're fine. I mean you look fine, well I mean it's fine," Jimmy coughed nervously.

Thomas watched Jimmy put the tray down with shaking hands, uncertain of what to do or say. 

Jimmy finally spoke to end the awkward silence. "Alfred had asked me what it was like to be kissed by you. The truth is I don't really remember too much."

"Jimmy, please don't."

"No, I have to say this.” Jimmy interrupted. “I keep having these dreams, seems like for a year at least, that you're, uh well, kissing me. Maybe my mind is trying to help me...I don't know, remember." Jimmy was turning red.

"Jimmy, I never meant to cause you harm. At the time I thought you had a crush on me. I thought you were going to kiss me back. I wasn't thinking clearly." Thomas reached for his undershirt and slid it on over his head. “And I’m very sorry that-”

"Thomas, I want to remember." Jimmy closed the door and walked over to him. 

Thomas watched Jimmy closely as he approached. Jimmy pressed his lips softly against Thomas's, trying to avoid the injured spot on his lower lip. He sucked Thomas's upper lip, and placed small kisses along Thomas's right cheek.

"Jimmy?" Thomas's eyes were wide. He brought his lips to Jimmy's and kissed him back more fully, testing the waters. Jimmy wrapped his fingers around Thomas's disheveled hair and opened his mouth to Thomas's tongue.

"Oh, Jimmy." Thomas moaned when the kiss had ended. "When?"

"I was afraid at first, Thomas. I’ve been in a deep sleep. But now..."

"You're trembling, Jimmy," Thomas opened his arms to the younger man.

Jimmy pressed himself into Thomas's embrace, resting his head on a warm shoulder. The warmth from Thomas was even more comforting than it had ever been in Jimmy's dreams. Only this was real. And now he was ready.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> The idea of Alfred wanting to know what it was like to kiss a man popped into my head after rewatching the Christmas special. I wanted his fear of the unknown to be addressed in this story, and I thought it would be a good catalyst for Jimmy and Thomas.


End file.
